A betting woman

Hubby and I, like many couples, have an “all-bets-off” list of celebrity crushes. These are different from your basic, run-of-the-mill celebrity crushes. They’re the “If I ever met him in person I’d probably be unable to keep from disrobing right then and there” kind of celebrity crushes.

Here’s how it works: We agree that if Celebrity X ever stops by, the one of us who has the “all-bets-off” crush gets a pass on the marriage vows for one night.

Ours is a compact little agreement, Hubby's and mine. We each have one such crush, and they’re married to each other. So the likelihood of one of us having to sit idly by while the other, uh, doesn’t, is dramatically lower. We figure they’d drop by together. And wouldn’t that be convenient?

I have, during my marriage, run into a surprising number of people who are disgusted by our agreement. (As if this were really a possibility. Which, of course, it's not. But whatever.)

The first couple of times I got called on it, I engaged. I told tell them, as gently as I could, to loosen up. It’s just a joke. Usually they’d respond with some psychobabble mumbo-jumbo about how an agreement like this speaks to the strength of our marriage, given our willingness to disavow our commitment to one another in pursuit of one night of passion with a stranger blah, blah, blah.

Uh, not really, I'd say. It more speaks to our acknowledgment that just because you get married doesn't mean you a) have to stop having harmless crushes on celebrities; b) have to stop being playful with your partner; or c) have to believe that a marriage is faithful only if it kills every other feeling you have for every other human being.

After awhile, I realized the folly in my willingness to engage. Much like when you talk politics or religion with someone whose convictions won’t allow them to see shades of gray, people who can’t see the harmless nature of this aren’t going to be convinced by anything I say.

They’d probably be horrified to learn further that Hubby and I have shared our Top 20 lists of celebrity crushes. In fact, we shared them very early in our courtship. We still tease each other about them from time to time.

I say all of this because I ran across my list the other day. And after I finished giggling, I realized it’s woefully out of date.

Ricky Martin’s on it, for chrissake. So is a guy I had to Google in order to remember who he is, exactly.

Of course, this is a travesty.

So, because I clearly don't have enough to do, I’m going to make another List to share with Hubby (and with you, in all likelihood). That’ll probably prompt him to revisit his List and make changes. And we’ll have a whole new set of things to tease each other about.

How about you, Dear Reader? Do you and your partner have an “all-bets-off” agreement? How about a Top 20 list? I hope you’ll share in the comments. Extra points for everyone who names names.

Oh, and if you ever see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill wondering around, send them right over, will ya?

Happy Thursday.